SURELY MOTHERHOOD AND BLOGGING COULD ONLY COMPLEMENT MY RESUME?

 With my youngest daughter now settled in daycare 2 days a week I decided it was time I re-joined the paid workforce. If any of you read my  REFLECTING ON MY MILESTONES OF MOTHERHOOD post or A FISH OUT OF WATER IN THE BIG, BAD CITY, you would know that this was a big milestone for me. The decision was filled with the emotion of accepting that my days being a full time SAHM were over and that my girls are growing up and needing me less. There was also anxiety around what job I would do and how my time out of the paid workforce would be received by prospective employers.

I’ve essentially been a SAHM for 3 and a half years. That said I feel like my ability is exactly the same as it was. Also having spent the last 12 months writing a blog I have not only kept my mind active, I have also learnt a whole heap of new skills. Surely motherhood and blogging could only complement my resume?

The first problem was, there are hardly any part time jobs available. There is not a great deal of choice and of course the competition is fierce.

The first job I applied for was a part time home based recruitment role.

With over 10 years’ HR and recruitment experience, I felt certain that I would have no problem getting it. In fact the only issue I thought may be more to do with the fact I didn’t have experience recruiting in that particular sector. I was pleased to receive a quick response from the owner of the agency yet was disappointed and surprised by his feed back

“You don’t have recent recruitment experience therefore I won’t be progressing with your application” WTF? I felt annoyed. If he had said “you don’t have experience recruiting for that sector”, I would have accepted it – that would have been a fair comment.

I started to wonder what exactly has changed in recruitment in the last 3.5 years. I asked a few people in the industry – the conclusion was ‘not a lot’ and certainly nothing too major that an experienced recruiter couldn’t pick it up. Having spent years informing people why they have or haven’t been successful for a particular role, I wondered if this was some form of karma. I know that I often favoured a candidate with more recent experience, assuming they would be easier to transition and if presenting to a client or manager, easier to sell-in.

The point is, people (me included) assume that when you haven’t worked for 3.5 years you will have forgotten everything, have baby-brain or that it will be too much hassle to train you up. Now that I am one of those people I can confirm that I am just as capable of starting a new job now as I was before. Whenever you start a new job there are new systems and processes that must be learnt. It’s very unusual to go into a job that has the exact same systems in place. The only difference now that I’m working part-time is that I probably work even harder, don’t have time to stop and chat but I do have to leave on time.

I considered a few junior roles but they just didn’t cover the cost of having 2 children in child care in Sydney.

For the first time ever I started to panic that I may struggle to get a job, something that has always happened so easily for me before.

I have now found a temporary position with a boutique recruitment agency 2 days a week. It was advertised on the mums the word Facebook page.

This experience really made me understand why so many women feel the pressure when they go on maternity leave to return to their jobs as soon as their maternity leave has ended. Whilst I know many do so because they love their job and feel ready to return, I also know many feel pressured to do so in case they can’t find anything at a later date. The fear of not finding something suitable part-time after a gap makes them return to work quicker than they may have chosen to.

So far, the transition from SAHM to part-time working mum is going well. I knew it would be challenging; getting two young girls up and out of the door, driving the car to double kindy drop offs, finding parking spaces and then grabbing a bus to the city. But I’ve surprised myself how well we are all coping. There are still tears at drop-off (particularly the youngest). However, the pictures I see of their day and the excitement I get from them when I collect them as they fill me in on their antics, re-assures me that they have had fun.

The job I’m doing is busy so the day flies past. Before I know it I’m flinging my belongings into a bag, kicking off my heels in favour of flats and legging it out the door. Back on the bus, to the car for the first pick up then a short drive for the second pick up. I’ve had a productive working day, bringing some dollars in and have collected two happy, tired children.

Laughing and chatting as we drive home, sometimes the eldest drifts off to sleep. As we land back home one of them will inevitably have a meltdown about something and dinner and bath time can either be heavenly or hellish. But that’s the way it always was. Once they are dressed in their pjs with a beaker of hot milk it’s time for cuddles and stories on the sofa. All is calm and I’m hopeful bed time will follow soon for everyone. Then Daddy walks through the door and their little legs try to run as fast as their hearts are beating. Bedtime may be a little later tonight – but that’s ok.

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REFLECTING ON MY MILESTONES OF MOTHERHOOD

Two days a week, whilst my 3 year old is at kindergarten, I have the pleasure of spending time alone with my 18 month old daughter. Yesterday was one of these days. As we walked hand in hand, along the path by the beach that I go to most days with one or both of the girls, I found myself aware that this IMG_4970familiar daily existence, could be nearing an end.
I have been merrily, tearily and, more often than not, blearily, muddling my way through my motherhood bubble for the best part of 3 years. With no job held open for me after my second daughter was born 18 months ago, I haven’t felt the pressure to make a decision regarding returning to paid work – until now. I can’t be a stay-at-home mum forever. At some point my youngest will benefit from further interaction and stimulation at kindergarten as her sister has done and if our little family is complete (something I still struggle to be absolute on), I need to find something to stimulate me and of course bring in some dollars!

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A Fish Out Of Water In The Big, Bad City

Today I had a Dr’s appointment in the city so grabbed a lift with my husband who works at World Square.

As I walked around the city with my youngest toddler (14 month old) in tow, I realised that the city has become an intimidating and alien place to me now. I felt like a fish out of water. Pushing along my pram, dressed in comfy trousers, a t-shirt and flip-flops/thongs.

Havaianas, AKA Thongs, AKA FlipFlops

It was as though I’d entered a parallel universe. Everyone was bustling around with such purpose, as though they knew something I didn’t or were part of something I wasn’t.

Hustle and bustle in the big, bad city
Hustle and bustle in the big, bad city

My husband has recently started a new job so he took me to his office to meet his work colleagues. I hadn’t planned on this and felt a little panicked that I looked rather like a homeless person he’d dragged off the street. I quickly ran my fingers through my knotty hair. I then did the obligatory once over check that all was in order (i.e. no sick on me, no food splattering on me, bra wasn’t on full display – my toddler has a tendency to yank my top down in her quest for milk, no milk leakage and flies were up), all good. I was relieved to have the remnants of nail polish on my toes from a rare night out a few days ago.

We walked into the smart, modern, stylish offices and I felt a little weird again. In my head I stuck out like a sore thumb, I shouldn’t be here in these smart offices with these busy and important people. I’m just a stay at home mum! Everyone was of course utterly lovely and welcoming, particularly excited by the presence, distraction and novelty of having a toddler in the office.

But it got me thinking, what is it about becoming a mum and having a certain amount of time out of the ‘paid workforce’ that makes us feel like worthless beings, no longer fit to enter the doors of the corporate world?

With 15 years’ experience in HR and recruitment, I spent a lot of time wearing suits and working in offices. I have worked in big cities in England such as Manchester and Newcastle. A year of my life in Australia involved working in Sydney’s CBD, I got to know (and love) the city well during that time. Today made me more aware than ever how different my life has become. Since exiting the corporate world in 2012 to go on maternity leave with my first baby (minus a brief stint in-between children for a couple of months), my life has changed considerably.

It’s challenging, fun, monotonous, rewarding and stressful – but in different ways.

I was lucky enough to enjoy most of the jobs I had throughout my career. That said, I do remember times when I wished I could pack it all in. I thought the role of being a mum would be easier, rewarding, fun; and I was definitely in favour of having no one to answer to.

I had a lot to learn.

Being a mum is the toughest, most challenging job I have ever done! Sleep routines, sleep deprivation, cleaning, making food, changing nappies, washing – at times it takes monotony to a whole new level. And as for having no one to answer to, Sir Alan Sugar has a lot to learn from my 2 strong minded and bossy toddlers.

However, the rewards of being a stay at home mum are immense. The happiness I feel when I hear my children laughing, being there to see them take their first steps or utter their first words, the smiles they give me when they do something silly or say something cute and the way they make me feel when they run into my arms to cuddle me. These are the things that make the hard work and monotony worthwhile. Oh, and the fact that I rarely have to wear make-up, brush my hair or dress in high heels anymore!

I don’t intend to be a stay at home mum for ever. I miss having a different kind of purpose and being meaningful in other ways. I enjoyed the social aspect of going out to work and the independence. I would also like to contribute financially to our family.

But for the time being this is my life, and it’s one I love and am truly grateful for. I’m sure one day the city and the corporate world may become familiar to me again. It might take a little adjusting to get back into the swing of it and require a new wardrobe!